FedEx

I buy a lot of crap online. Between the roommates and I, the post man has actually taken the time to stop and discuss how much stuff shows up at our door. However, tomorrow it's a different story. This one's different.

It's a new cell phone. And it's fancy. It's glorious. It has an AMOLED display.

And it came with "free" overnight shipping. (Free gets quotes because the phone was ridiculously expensive.)

Since it shipped this morning, I can't help but keep pinging the FedEx website every 20 minutes to see if there is tracking progress. Sometimes more than that. I think I've looked at it 4 times while writing this post. I'm like freaking Melvin Udall (before a gay Greg Kinnear tried to take Helen Hunt away from him . . . )

Anyway not the point.

I was doing well in my happily neurotic state until my package stopped in Memphis. I've got no issue with Memphis in general. However, today, Tennessee is apparently under enough water that dolphins have started mating near the recording studios in Nashville. (This according to my analysis of what I thought I overheard someone say that they read on the ticker tape on CNN while eating lunch at the mall Chic-fil-a.)

I still can't stop hitting F5 over and over.

Well, I'm off to lock the door and go to bed. Then get out of bed, unlock the door and re-lock it then get back in bed. Then get out of bed, unlock the door . . . .